Child custody cases can be emotionally charged and complex, especially when communication between parents breaks down. In high-conflict custody situations, even minor decisions—like school schedules or holiday plans—can spark significant disputes. To address this, courts in many jurisdictions are increasingly turning to parenting coordination as a tool to reduce conflict and promote healthier co-parenting. If you’re involved in a custody case, understanding what parenting coordination is and how it works can help you navigate the process more smoothly and protect your child’s well-being.
What Is Parenting Coordination?
Parenting coordination is a child-focused process designed to help parents resolve ongoing conflicts related to custody and parenting time. It brings together strategies from mediation, conflict management, and oversight to help resolve parenting disputes. A parenting coordinator (PC) is a neutral third party—usually a mental health professional or attorney with specialized training—who helps parents implement court-ordered parenting plans and make decisions in the best interest of the child.
Unlike a judge, a parenting coordinator doesn’t decide major custody issues. Instead, they assist with day-to-day parenting decisions that often cause friction between separated or divorced parents. These can include things like:
- Holiday and vacation scheduling
- Transportation logistics
- Medical or educational decision
- Communication guidelines
- Changes to parenting time
- Handling extracurricular activities
By working with a PC, parents can avoid frequent court visits and resolve disputes more quickly and with less emotional strain.
Who Can Benefit from Parenting Coordination?
Parenting coordination is not necessary for every divorced or separated couple. It is most commonly used in high-conflict custody cases where:
- Parents are frequently in court over minor disagreements
- There’s a history of poor communication or hostility
- Children are caught in the middle of ongoing disputes
- The court might determine that involving a professional is essential to ensure a consistent and secure environment for the child
Even if a court doesn’t order parenting coordination, some families choose it voluntarily as a proactive way to avoid future conflict. It provides structure, neutral guidance, and consistent support, helping parents focus on the child’s needs rather than continuing personal battles.
The Role of a Parenting Coordinator
A parenting coordinator serves multiple functions depending on the family’s needs and the scope of the court order. Their primary responsibilities often include:
- Facilitating Communication: Helping parents speak to each other respectfully and effectively
- Clarifying the Parenting Plan: Explaining vague or misunderstood parts of the custody agreement
- Managing Disputes: Mediating minor conflicts to avoid escalating issues
- Monitoring Compliance: Making sure each parent adheres to the established parenting agreement
- Making Limited Decisions: In some cases, the PC can make small decisions if parents cannot agree—depending on the authority granted by the court
Parenting coordinators do not take sides. They aim to ease conflict, safeguard the child’s best interests, and encourage effective co-parenting.
How Parenting Coordination Works
The parenting coordination process varies depending on the local court rules and the complexity of the custody arrangement. Typically, it involves the following steps:
- Appointment by the Court or Agreement by the Parents: A judge can mandate parenting coordination, or both parents can agree to begin the process on their own.
- Initial Assessment: The PC meets with both parents, separately or together, to understand the nature of the conflict and the family dynamics.
- Development of Ground Rules: The coordinator sets expectations for communication, behavior, and how disputes will be handled.
- Ongoing Meetings: Regular sessions (in person, virtual, or by phone) provide a forum for resolving issues as they arise.
- Documentation and Reports: The PC may submit reports to the court or attorneys, especially if one or both parents are not cooperating with the process.
The PC’s authority depends on the specific terms laid out in the court order or agreement. In some states, parenting coordinators can make binding decisions on minor matters. In others, their role is purely advisory.
Legal Considerations
Parenting coordination is court-regulated, but laws and procedures differ from state to state. In some jurisdictions, parenting coordination is well-established and governed by clear statutes. In others, it may be a relatively new or evolving practice.
If you’re considering parenting coordination or are ordered to participate, it’s important to:
- Understand your legal rights and responsibilities
- Review the court order carefully to know what the PC can and cannot do
- Consult with your lawyer to fully understand the process before consenting to any outcomes
- Keep detailed records of communications and meetings with the PC
Parenting coordinators usually require payment for their services, with expenses commonly shared by both parents. Some courts offer reduced-cost or sliding-scale services for families with limited resources.
Benefits of Parenting Coordination
For families embroiled in ongoing conflict, parenting coordination can offer a range of benefits:
- Reduces Court Involvement: Less reliance on the court system saves time and money
- Protects the Child: Reduces the child’s experience of conflicts between parents
- Encourages Cooperation: Promotes mutual problem-solving and respectful communication
- Provides Structure: Offers consistent processes for handling disputes
- Improves Emotional Stability: Reduces stress for both parents and children
When both parents are willing to participate in good faith, parenting coordination can be a powerful tool for creating a healthier co-parenting environment.
Final Thoughts
Parenting coordination is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but in high-conflict custody situations, it can provide much-needed clarity and stability. Collaborating with an impartial expert who prioritizes the child’s welfare helps parents move away from conflict and focus on nurturing their child’s development and happiness.
If you’re facing ongoing challenges in your custody arrangement, speak with your attorney about whether parenting coordination is appropriate for your situation. It could be a valuable step toward building a more cooperative and peaceful co-parenting future.
